believe it has been that long since one of the darkest times in my life. I grew up in a world of safety and security. Strong in my faith, at least so I thought, and dedicated to my calling. Then came the darker times, and my world was shattered. Only now, 9 years after the deaths, and seven years after the "dark times", am I again restrengthening in my faith. I have safety and security in God and as much has humanly possible here with Robby.This weekend, which is annually suppose to be a celebration of our Lord Jesus' resurrection, for me at times is haunted by dark memories of things that never should have happened. Even now, I trust people little. Maybe it is because I am Irish, or Bedouin, or Choctaw, or maybe because I was so wounded, or maybe because I had three different mothers in the first 6 months of my life. What ever the reasons, 7 years ago did not help things any.
I watched the 80's TV show, Beauty and the Beast- Season 1, this past weekend. It first of all showed me where a lot of my tastes in decor and clothing have their roots. Secondlly, it showed me something I have never really realized: I am a servivor...date rape, multiple deaths in 6 months, betrayal by close trusted friends, none of these hold me down. True, their shadows may haunt me in my dreams and flash backs at times, but they do not hold me bound. I am free to live my life. I am free to dream. I have the right to dream again, here, now, with my husband. Thirdly, it has reconfirmed just how deep and speically of a love Robby and I have. What a blessing!
Seven years, and at last the no longer holds me captive! ^_^
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