Defrag Youth Leaders Retreat...

What a weekend it has been up in the cool Rocky Mountians around Durango, Co.  We gathered here at the Silverpick Lodge with 60 other Native Youth Leaders and Missionaries.   What a time of worship, learning, and rest!

This will become an anual event for Robby and me... that is for sure.

A day without shoes....

Yesterday, was international day with out shoes.  Some of us here at college went all day without shoes.  From day light to sunset, I walked everywhere shoe less, even acrossed the sharp red lava rocks that make up our drive way and the parking at college.  It was hard!  And here I am someone that goes barefoot every chance I get....  My feet were killing me by the end of the day... but I did not give up and did it.

Why would a nice American woman do this for a whole day?  Because there are 100's of  Millions of Children around the world at risk of injury, infections, and sole transmitted diseases that they cant afford to treat.  Why?  Because they cannot even afford a simple pair of shoes!  I don't have a lot of money, and live below poverty level myself.  But I can do this to raise awareness for these children.


But Jesus said,  "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." - Matt. 19:14

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Dont let anyone tell you just because you have issues you cant serve God... people use to tell me that.  You see I have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder stemming from the tragic lose of 5 friends/family, (2 to illness, 3 two car accidents) and some horrible things that happened to me outside of that as well. 

Many things can cause PTSD, from war, to sudden death of loved ones, to natural disasters, to rape, to abuse, to terrorist attacks, to childhood neglect, and many other reasons.  What exactly triggers it and how to prevent it, is still vastly unknown.

PTSD is a strange thing, for some it passes in just six months, for others it does not set on till six months afterward.  It can last for 6 months or a life time. It has been over the past 9 years, and yet it still haunts me.  The flash backs, still come unbidden during the night.  Still I struggle connecting with people, and freak if I am trapped in a corner with no way out, but that is kinda expected.

Yet, though at the time I could not see the good in it, now out here working with teens who have gone through many of the same issues I have, can offer the hope I have found in Jesus to them.  Not the casual, "He will fix everything.", but the He is there through it all holding out His hand to help us through the valleys of the shadows of death.

Week of Travels

What a week it has been, traveling all over the eastern side of the Navajo Reservation.  From Kinilidi (Flagstaff) to Naʼnízhoozhí (Gallup), up to   Shiprock then  Chinle and Window Rock, what a trip!  Most of the time I was sleeping on a hard floor or an old sofa bed with the springs poking out, but sharing at churches and seeing the young people and adults getting excited about what they can do to help.

Naʼnízhoozhí

Naʼnízhoozhí, as we call it in Dine, was founded in 1881 as a railhead camp, and called Gallup after David Gallup, the paymaster of the railroad.  It is surounded by Native lands, both Dine and Ashiwi, and has long been a center of trade.

Located on the famed Route 66 and imfamous Route 666, which was recently renamed Route 491.  Naʼnízhoozhí is home to al ot of Native American shops, one of the largest flee markets consisting of mostly Native American arts and crafts, and many outreaches to Native American.  This  week,  Robby and I, along with many of our fellow students will be in Naʼnízhoozhí on our college missions trip.

Home for the summer..

Here I am, about to reach the first day of spring, and we have just learned that unless God changes things we will not be traveling back east this summer.  With the rising cost of gas, and with having to fix the truck, we are stuck for the summer.  Robby most likely will work at BABR for the summer, and I will seek a job of some sort... to save for next school year and future support trips.   May haps we can met family in Tucumcarrie, NM over thanksgiving.  Yet, what ever why and when ever we get back home... God is with us and we will continue to serve Him.

To be a Christian... how does that look?

When you think of the word Christian?

• Do you think of people who sit in a church, keep the pews warm, and look down their noses at anyone who does not live up to their standards?

• Do you think of someone who embraces a lifestyle dedicated to intimacy in and with the Father, provoking extreme obedience, manifesting in radical stewardship, here "...on earth as it is in heaven."?

This is something I have been wrestling with for a long time. I first went to the missions field when I was just 15, and served in Chihuahua, Mexico for two weeks. The scriptures that came to my heart then, and have not left me were Luke 9:3 "And He said to them, "Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics." and the Rich Young Ruler from Luke 18:18-30, and Acts 2:44-47 "And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."

What do those mean? I know that that is how the early church was, and that Jesus was giving instructions to his disciples. But for me, now for 13 years, these have been the scriptures weighing heavy on my heart. By 19, I was was ministering among the subcultures. I had no drivers license, worked odd and end jobs, as long as they would keep me, and giving from the little I had to those in need. That summer to winter, I lost 5 friends, three to car and motor cycle accidents. Depression and PTSD from that and another event my 20th year, became my closest friends. I had bought a house when I was 24, to fix up and become a safe haven for at risk youth... but lost it 6 months later due both my house mate and I glossing our jobs. On the bright side, I gained a husband out of it, for a friend had come to help, and we grew to love each other..something neither of us were looking for.

Robby and I have never owned our own place. In fact, now 3 years married....our largest place is our small 1 bedroom apartment here at college where we have a bedroom, bathroom, living room, dinning room, and kitchen of our own. Normally, we have had only a bedroom and bathroom, and we have never been unhappy with either little or much. We were married just as the economy fell apart, and jobs have not been easy to come by. We have lived in 8 states since we were married, and traveled to many more, some for jobs, some for ministry. At 26, I finally got my drivers license and a truck. A year later, Dad and I swapped trucks... my 1984 F-150 for his 1997 Dodge Dakota, and Robby and I headed out to Dine Bikeyah as missionaries to them.

Now here I sit, 9 months later, wondering still... how is this suppose to look? Which type of Christian am I: one they hate or one who draws others closer to Him? I am still not sure, and the search continues.